Several months ago, I was asked to create a new workshop, in addition to my original one about healing grief and loss. The second workshop is titled “The Process of Forgiveness,” with the premise that true forgiveness of ourselves and others very often is a process, not an event, and quite possibly requires
months and even years of work to accomplish.
Recently we were talking about forgiveness in a class I was facilitating, and one of the people asked,“how do we forgive God?”
I’m sure you would agree with me that very often, life does not turn out as we expect. Dear ones, including babies and young children, along with spouses, older children and close friends, can and do die long before we are ready to let them go.
I’ve heard people say that the reason for their death might be that God needed another angel. I don’t believe that, but you get to decide if it is true for you.
What do we believe is God’s part in someone’s death? Could God have swooped down and saved them, and if not, is it God’s fault that they died?
This takes us back to what we really believe about God. If we still have some residue about God being out there somewhere, who answers prayers depending on His mood, and our perceived deservedness, we might blame Him. And if God would (or wouldn’t) do that, how can we expect Him to answer our prayers?
Instead, and I would suggest this also is a process and not an event, we have the opportunity to continue to question what we believe about God, and ultimately remind ourselves that God (Spirit, the Universe, the Divine) is a loving nurturing presence that always responds to us as we believe—a power, not a personality.
Edwene Gaines once said that “God doesn’t have grandchildren.” So each of us, including our dear ones, is on our own spiritual path, fulfilling an agreement with the Universe to experience certain things and live for a certain period of time.
As we recognize and accept that, we find that there is nothing to forgive.